Primal Blueprint 6-day follow up:
I “re-entered” Primal eating on Sunday, after getting an week’s supply of meat, coming to last week’s conclusion, and after learning more about the PB and self-experimenting last year. This time, I had to be semi-strict, meaning I had to eliminate grains and processed foods but not legumes and vegetable oil. The reason I can’t eliminate legumes and vegetable oil at this time is because of financial constraints (I need to eliminate legumes too, because of the high carb content and possible lectins, and vegetable oils because of the high Omega-6 content). We barely have any veggies (if any) around here and I need to get my carbs from somewhere. I think that legumes are a more sensible solution. I seem to be more sensitive to grains than to legumes, but I’m eating them sensibly. Here are some results and findings so far:
• I’m craving fats…really craving them. Thursday, I was thinking about eating fats like coconut oil/milk and I had the same thoughts Friday morning, right when I woke up, and this time grass-fed butter and nuts were included (I know this sounds weird to some of you who are not familiar with the Primal/Paleo lifestyle). I was also thinking about almond butter this whole time (since early in the week). After visiting the Mark’s Daily Apple forums and re-visiting MDA blog posts & comments, I found out that I may not be eating enough calories, which explains why I’m feeling low on energy and craving fats (something which I’ve always felt, except that back then I was craving carbs). At first, I thought that this was the low carb flu, until I came upon this. I don’t think the low carb flu makes sense in this case since I’ve pretty much been low-carb (but also low-fat) nearly all of my life. (I think that this is more of a “low-fat flu”.)
• I’ve learned to listen to my body more. I knew this the whole time but I wasn’t really sure how to do it until now. I know now that the reason I’m craving fats is because i’m most likely not getting enough.
• Grain/carb cravings are at their lowest levels ever. I’m barely getting any. Instead, i’m getting (good) fat cravings now.
• I seem to have put on some lean body mass. Earlier in the week, I’ve noticed that I might have put on some more lean mass in my stomach area (it looks leaner). On Friday, I’ve noticed that I might have put on some lean mass on my lower arms (it doesn’t look and feel as skinny as it did before, and feels & looks much leaner). I need to go weigh myself soon.

Things I’m working on right now:
• Getting good fats. I think that this will be my first priority once our budget clears up a bit (since fats make up the bulk of my calories). I’ve discussed this with my mom on Thursday and she agreed to help me buy some good fats for me to use once our budget clears up.
• Getting some grass-fed eggs, canned seafood, herbs, spices, and Primal snacks and other Primal foods. I know where to get them, I just need money.
• Getting some dietary supplements. I need to get a multivitamin with antioxidants, probiotics, protein supplement, and fish oil. I really would like to get these supplements from the Primal Blueprint website, but that’s out of my reach for now (but that’ll change somewhere in the near future).
• Getting more veggies. I want to see if its possible for me to join a CSA once our budget clears up (and maybe even after I get my Driver’s License). I would also love to have my own garden but that’s out of my reach for now (but that’ll change somewhere in the near future).
• Seeing how much my performance in intellectual tasks has improved. I am really curious to find out about this. I expect it to improve once I make the full transition to Primal. (This might take a while…)
• Getting rid of my fatigue and systemic inflammation. For this to happen, I need to increase my (healthy) fat consumption and balance my Omega-3/6 ratio. (This might also take a while…)
• Gaining more weight by putting on more lean mass. (Once again, this might also take a while…)

Ever since I first found out about the Primal Blueprint, i’ve been finding answers to my questions about health and well-being, including finding out clues to the reason why I’ve struggled for years with a condition in which a person actually suffers in silence. It also answered other questions that I might or might not have had. Another thing that i’ve always struggled with is underperformance. I’ve been trying to find out the reason for my underperformance in everything, and why I am so slow to get anything done. Little did I know, until just three days ago, that I’ve been struggling with fatigue the whole time, another explanation why I have/had SM. Because of my leaky gut and the systemic inflammation it caused, my immune system was being compromised, meaning, it was being overworked (I have what is considered an autoimmune disorder), so my energy levels where low (and it makes sense because I didn’t exactly feel physically energized). In addition to that, I have allergies to corn and gluten, which contributed to the problem.

As a result of these low energy levels and allergic reaction(s), I underperform. Social settings become overwhelming to me (and I know it’s not supposed to be that way for me. I mean, I really want to socialize with people). The quality of my work lowers. I’m slow to get things done because my energy either runs out or its not there (even though I really, really want to do it). I have trouble focusing and concentrating on doing tasks that I want (even though the enthusiasm is there), because of my fatigue and reaction(s) to a food. I know that it is not because of my lack of ability (compared to what those nuts over at the public school district that I used to go to as a kid said)…I know that I’m capable of doing a lot, and at high levels – levels that are higher than anyone could possibly imagine.

I sometimes feel like no one else knows how it’s like to be someone who is performance and quality-oriented, yet is getting mediocre results in anything they undertake…even though they know they can do better, they certainly have the ability to go out and be on top every time, the enthusiasm is there. You’re doing the best you can, only to come up short. I feel just like Chad Reed (one of my favorite Motocross athletes) did back in 2010, when he had what was possibly the worst year of his career. He was underperforming (he’s one of the top motocrossers out there) and it turns out that the reason for that was because he had the Epstein-Barr virus (http://www.racerxonline.com/2010/07/23/a-letter-from-chad-reed). This discovery finally puts to rest all of the assumptions and allegations that I might have a mental disability (like I was told when I was in grade school – take that, school officials!). After spending lots of time reading and researching how diet affects these type of things (which began in 2009), I strongly believe that our modern diet is the root cause of my Selective Mutism and underachievement. I also believe that it is the root cause of most other mental disorders (like ADHD).

My number 1 priority right now is to get 100% healthy. I know that if I don’t take care of this issue now, I am going to underachieve in my dream career of music and design and running a business, and whatever else I desire to do in the future, and things will be running slow…and not to mention that my gut health will deteriorate further, and I will possibly develop a severe allergic reaction to corn and gluten. In addition, I’ll keep having nose and skin issues, all which will hinder my ability to go on stage and perform. I am going to follow the Primal Blueprint eating and lifestyle plan in order to achieve maximum health (and eliminate grains from my diet). I expect to my performance to improve drastically once I make the full transition. I am very excited about this and I am looking forward to the future – I know I have a very bright future ahead of me. I would like to thank Mark Sisson (the creator/author of the Primal Blueprint and the blog, Mark’s Daily Apple) for helping me make this discovery, and for his generosity in giving this type of information to people. I highly recommend his work.

Will the Primal Blueprint fix my “Selective Mutism”? Is the modern/standard American diet the root cause of my SM and energy issues? How long will it take before I see improvement? How will it be like once my health is restored and once I get back to doing my work (i.e. music)? Will my performance improve and if yes, how much? Will I finally “get things done”? I guess these questions and more will be answered once I get started…at least I’ve finally found an answer to my question (see the first paragraph), as well as a solution to fix the problem.

It looks like i’ll be participating in the challenge. I’ll be posting at least once a week (I said “least” because I may post more than once a week – there’s always that possibility…and then there’s that possibility where I won’t post for an entire week because of some kind of time constraint). This challenge will give me a chance to further improve my blogging skills, and get ready for my next project, which is my artist blog (I’ll be going into further detail in a future post). Overall, I think this will be fun.

In addition to posting about my artist blog, I plan on posting some pictures I took last year that I would like to share with everyone. I want to post a design that I worked on and finished late last year. I’m also thinking about discussing the name of this blog and why I chose it, and sharing some websites in the future. Those are just some of my plans to start this challenge. More things will be coming as they come up. I think i’m finally getting the hang of this blogging thing.

I guess this is a new year’s resolution for me.

(By the way, shouldn’t Post a Day/Week 2011 be Post a Day/Week 2012 by now?)

“ThinkPad W520” lyrics:

[Intro]

May I have your attention please?
This is Eli Turner
And I’m here to introduce you all
To something spectacular
Someone incredible
Someone who does
Everyone, meet the ThinkPad W520
The latest update to the ThinkPad W series
The greatest mobile workstations in the world
Okay, now lets get this thing started, shall we?

[Verse 1]

Workstation-class performance in a laptop
A five point five thin and light with twice the performance
And battery life one-hundred percent better than the previous generation
The W520 is the best choice for special pros
Who need portability to get to the top
Workstation folks focus on performance
Time is money so there ain’t no room for any jokers
This beast helps bring creations to life
With a full HD display with ninety-nine percent color gamut
And an industry-first integrated X-Rite Pantone calibrator
He’ll bring something you’ll all like
Like, an out-of-this-world Photoshop creation
Or an outrageously mind-blowing animation
With a ridiculously fine beat to back it all up, man
You’ll become a really loyal fan
With lots of ideas and lots of ambition
He’s got lots of enthusiasm and a knack for invention
A certified champion, a real doer
Can work with the most demanding applications
Does more than the rest of the competition
Leaves ‘em all in the dust
This guy don’t mess around with any chickenheads
He says “I only work with the best”
So jokers, move out of the way
This guy’s pavin’ the way for the rest

[Bridge]

Two times the graphics memory
NVIDIA Quadro graphics with Optimus technology
Two gigs of graphics memory, thirty-two gigs of system memory
Second gen Intel i7 Quad Core Extreme processors

[Verse 2]

Built to perform, built to design, built to build
This guy brings on the magic
ThinkPad W520 is the industry’s fastest and lightest mobile workstation
So go out and get it on
For those who do, yeah

[Ending]

ThinkPad W520 y’all, that’s my new ThinkPad

If you’ve seen the material in the “My Music” page on my blog, you’ll know that I have already written a couple of songs, which I released last year. But those are not the first songs that I wrote (or more specifically, “ThinkPad W510″ is not the first song I wrote). The first song that I wrote was back in 2006 or 2007 (I can’t exactly remember when), and it was called “ThinkPads”. I showed it to everyone on the ThinkPads.com forums (just search for the post title “ThinkPads Song” in the “Off Topic” forum and the author “thePCxp”, using the advanced search function) and I got a lot of positive comments on it…people really liked it. I’ll see when I can post the lyrics to this blog.

I have been writing quite a lot this year but it’s been inconsistent, meaning I would take a break from it and not come back to it for a long time (like probably two or more months). I feel like this is something that I need to work on more. If I am going to do this for a living then I need to get used to doing it more often. That’s something that I am going to work on more, especially if I want to get better. I think that my real problem is that I’ve been letting the ideas get away (I haven’t been writing them down), but I think that I’m improving. The good thing is that I have a lot of time now that I’m not going to school. (I’ve just begun to go to community college to learn level 2 computer tech skills (I’ve always wanted to learn that) during the summer but I’m not going back until spring. I don’t like the idea of school, but for what I want to learn I really don’t have any other choice right now.)

Lately, I’ve been getting inspired by Tyler the Creator (my biggest influence is Eminem) as well as some events that have happened or are currently happening in my life, which has helped me get back to songwriting. I have already written material that is going to be on my first mixtape, “The Uprising”. I’m a little nervous about releasing it (since this is my first recording) but I’m even more excited, so I’m just going to let my passion get me through. I was even more nervous in the beginning because I was wondering if people are going to like it and if they’re even going to like me. But then I realized that I won’t know if they’re going to like it (or me for that matter) if I don’t release it and I won’t get to establish myself and develop my career if I don’t put anything out. I need to focus on the process.

I’m currently hard-at-work on “The Uprising” and I hope that everyone will enjoy it when it comes out. I’m very passionate about it, and I’m passionate about music and developing my career, as well. I’m targeting a release date for late next year (2012) or in 2013, depending on how everything goes. If you’re into quality music, hip-hop/rap music, and watching promising, up-and-comming young artists develop their careers, then get my mixtape when it comes out. It will be available as a free download via the future Eli Turner official artist blog/site (there will also be other things comming in the near future). In March, I finally decided to start my own label. It will be called ThinkLab Entertainment, so it will be a ThinkLab Presentation.

So here are the many ways ThinkPad and I are alike:

We’re quiet, non-distracting, and non-obtrusive – You know, I just realized that maybe being “quiet”, “non-distracting”, and “non-obtrusive” isn’t so bad after all. Thank you ThinkPad for helping me see the light. I feel like I’ve been ashamed of this because it feels like I’m the only one who’s like this and people usually look down upon this (thanks a lot, “normal” people!). But after reading this I realized, there is somebody else out there who’s like me and that somebody is ThinkPad. One thing that I like is that you get to “surprise” people. When people see you as “quiet”, they think that you are one of those “cookie-cutters” who complies and does the same things like everybody else, and they also think that you don’t have anything to offer. But after they get to know you more, they find out that you’re no cookie-cutter and that you have plenty to offer. You’re seen as somewhat of a “mystery”, and people have to try to solve it. After you solve the mystery, you’ll be able to see that we have our own character traits, voice, temperament, and life. Being “quiet” is also usually associated with high intelligence (I’m not trying to sound rude, like a brat, or offend anyone…just trying to make a point plus it’s better than lying to people). (Note that I’m “quiet” but not “introverted”. To find out more see my post, “My Personality Type”.) Being non-distracting and non-obtrusive means that I won’t get reprimanded and “punished”. I’m a highly sensitive person and I get my feelings hurt pretty easily. I’m sensitive to other people’s perceptions. It’s almost like camouflage. Also, I have a tendency to talk a lot sometimes.

We’re courageous – We like…no, we love…taking on new challenges. What looks like an impossibility to others looks like a possibility to us. Or in other words, what others say can’t be done, we say it can be done. We’re risk-takers.

We’re persistent and determined – We never give up on what we believe in. We don’t stop doing something until it’s done.

We’re energetic – We’re always hungry for new challenges. Nothing is ever enough for us. We’re enthusiastic about everything we do.

We enjoy (and crave) novelty and adventure – We don’t like the mundane. In fact, we hate it! We know that we have places to be and things to do. We’re easily bored.

We’re imaginative – We’re always coming up with new ideas. We’re always creating.

We’re unique – We’re not like everybody else and we refuse to be like everyone else.

We’re quality-focused – We only want the best and we want people to have the best. We set aggressive goals and we always set high standards for ourselves.

We’re hard-workers – We know that hard work always pays off and we always aim to achieve our goals. We always try to do our best and we always believe in what we do.

We love the colors black, red, white, and blue – These are the colors that I typically wear and ThinkPads always wear.

We always have a smile in our faces – If you see me in person, you’ll notice that I’m always smiling. If you see a ThinkPad, you’ll notice that they’re always smiling too! We’re always happy about who we are and about life:

Justin the T60: All happy and smiling

(This may take some amount of imagination for some people so here’s a hint: Notice the hinges.)

So when you see me out there, just think of a ThinkPad. When you see a ThinkPad, think of me. I would have to say that I’m ThinkPad’s (as well as Lenovo’s) biggest fan & lover.

I just don’t have the energy to do anything for a substained amount of time. To tell you the truth, I rather just nap than look for a job, or work on my music, or do anything! So much for trying to get over SM and making a living out of music!  I feel cranky and I just don’t have the patience and energy to deal “certain kinds of people” sometimes. I just get overwhelmed by all the stimulation around me. I get so overwhelmed that I just want people to leave me alone, and get away from everything sometimes.

How do I know that it’s my diet that’s causing all of this? Let me give you a real-life example: This morning, I are some mac & cheese with some ground beef (It’s that processed junk), and then I ate a piece of bread. Afterwards, I felt like napping. I felt overwhelmed by everything and everyone around me, I just wanted to be left alone. I can’t even focus long enough to do something (because of the low energy). I even had a hard time making this blog post and I probably don’t even know what I’m talking about! I also found out earlier this week that I’m gluten intolerant. It’s amazing how something as simple as diet can cause big problems.

I can’t wait to go Primal. I’m very excited about it and the results that it’s going to bring. I’ve been very unsatisfied with my performace (in terms of productivity, mostly in my work and social life) that the Modern Diet has brought for years. I know that I can do better than that. I know that I have huge potential and The Primal Blueprint will help me bring out the best in me. I see a very bright future ahead of me!

So screw the Modern Diet!

Before I entered school, I was known for my excessive talkativeness and high energy levels. After I got SM, I felt like I lost my mojo. I felt like a very important part of me was gone. I think that the reason why I didn’t get SM earlier was because my teachers knew that I was just shy and didn’t pressure me to speak. They didn’t focus on the fact that I was “different”, but instead focused on my abilities. After 3rd grade, I was known mostly for my Selective Mutism, and was given nicknames like “the silent one” and “shy girl” (sometimes, I was known for my interest in computers). I felt like I was the only one going through this.

As much as my parents and teachers tried to help me, they only made things worse. One of the things that they did (which was most of the time) was pressure me to speak, which reinforced my anxiety. A lot of my classmates did the same thing too. This happened because a lot of people don’t know about SM and if they do, they don’t know what to do about it, or they have a wrong view of it. I didn’t find out about SM until 2007 (after years of research). But the thing is, I didn’t acknowledge it until just earlier this month. The good news is that it looks like I’m half to almost over it.

What really helped me get through this was writing notes to my teachers (it was my 7th grade Journalism teacher who gave me this idea). The other thing that helped me was making friends with some of the teachers. I felt like I could relate more to them than my classmates. Some people (mostly my parents) looked down upon this (and made me feel bad about it) because they expected me to speak (which didn’t make things any better). But later on I found out that this was actually a really big help, because the point was to communicate-in any way.

I know that the biggest obstacle I have to overcome before I can be a performer/entertainer is my SM. The good thing is that I have already made a lot of progress (I feel somewhat or almost comfortable performing in front of people. I’ve had people tell me that performing is “out of my comfort zone”, that I’m just not meant to do this and that I should do something else (my mom is one of those people, by the way). On the bight side, there were people who supported me, like my 5th grade teacher and my 10th grade English teacher. I believe that I’m meant to do this, and that this is where I belong. I’ve been dreaming of this my whole life and I’m not going to let those pessimists or SM bring me down. I want to be a success story, not a statistic. The only reason they’re saying that is because they don’t understand what SM really is.

One thing I noticed is that I don’t feel like have the energy to deal with SM, and I feel like I’m constantly on edge (whenever I’m presented with an unfamiliar social situation, but that’s no surprise). Another thing is when I ate a high fat/protein, low carb meal recently, I noticed that I had more energy and felt more relaxed. It turns out that diet plays a very important role in mental health (as well as with other ailments, physial and mental). A lot of people, but especially doctors, are very ignorant of this. My SM might have as well be caused by a poor diet (note that I’m not overweight or obese).

After everything I’ve read, I’m very convinced that this is the case, so what I’m going to do is change my diet. I’m going to switch to a diet called “The Primal Blueprint”, and It’s not just a diet, it’s also a lifestyle. It’s something that you’re going to stick with for life, unlike most diets out there. A lot of people have reported great results after they switched from the Standard American Diet (or the Modern Diet) to The Primal Blueprint. I’m very positive and optimistic that this is going to help me in getting over SM and I’ll provide updates when I start it (which I’m hoping is going to happen soon-I’m still trying to find work).

You can find more information on The Primal Blueprint by going to http://www.marksdailyapple.com/, and by reading The Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson.
You can find more information on Selective Mutism by going to http://www.selectivemutism.org and http://www.selectivemutismcenter.org

I first met him in 7th grade. I had an assignment for my journalism class where I was supposed to go interview him about the new computers (laptops, to be specific) we were going to be getting (the school got a grant). While I was there, I saw a list of two brands that they were considering. One of them was ThinkPad. I was so excited to find out about the news that I just wanted to tell him that they (the school) should get ThinkPads, but I didn’t get a chance to tell him.

Luckily, I had a friend who knew him and worked alongside him, that I asked her if I could meet him. She said yes and she then took me into his office and introduced me to him. After getting introduced, I told him about what I found out and then told him that the school should get ThinkPads. I found out that they already made a decision and that they were getting ThinkPads! I was so excited, it was dream come true!

That right there, was the beginning of our friendship. I came by his office to see him almost everyday after school, and I got to be his office aide for 8th grade. I wanted to be involved with helping him and the school out with their ThinkPads, in any way possible. I really enjoyed being around him. He was a really nice guy and was very knowledgeable about stuff (kind of like me, in fact, I think that I reminded him of his daughter and himself). He was like a father-figure to me at times.

I spent my Spring Break of 2004 configuring 300 ThinkPads. I then got to deliver them to their assigned classrooms. I got to make lots of friends and I had a great time. After spring break, I got to meet my boyfriend Aaron. It was during 8th grade that I really fell in love with ThinkPad. I then had my own and first ThinkPad (an R51 named Steven, whom I talked about in a previous post) later on that year.

He really believed in me and he always did. He gave me plenty of opportunities to prove myself. I got to learn lots of things, not just about computers, but also life skills. These are things that I will need for reaching my goals in life, but especially for achieving my ultimate goal: becoming a great in music. Even after I graduated from Spurgeon and went to high school, we still got to keep in touch and I would always visit him.

He was employed with the Santa Ana Unified School District from 1978 to 2010. He died May 3, 2011 in Costa Mesa, California (but he lived in Downey, CA). He was 62. He and his daughter, Emily, were brutally murdered by her ex-husband, who was angry that she had won custody of their 7 year old special needs daughter. This was such shocking news when I first heard of it, I literally got the chills. I just couldn’t believe that he died this way (and so soon). Their killer, Robert Lehmann, is sheduled to be arrainged on June 24, and I hope that he gets what he deserves.

Rest In Peace, Russell Ford (and you too, Emily). I will always remember you, you’ll always be with me, and I miss you. Thank you for everything that you did for me. Just know that you (and your daughter) didn’t deserve to die this way (and this soon), and it looks like justice will be served.

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2011/05/06/prosecutors-dad-killed-ex-wife-over-custody-of-special-needs-daughter/
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-costa-mesa-domestic-dispute-shooting,0,2039091.story

On April 19, 2011, I found out about some news about Ina Garten (the “Barefoot Contessa”) were she declined to grant a wish for a sick kid. I found out that a lot of people were bashing her and saying stupid, hurtful comments about her (comments she didn’t deserve). If I remember correctly, the article that I read was from the Los Angeles Times (I even posted a comment there). I think that this is some sort of “defamation plot” by the media. The only thing that the media cares about is money and maintaining the status quo. They don’t care about bringing true, real news to people.

The media is good at manipulating people. (And yes, I think that people were being manipulated here.) They know that if they put out a nasty rumor, or controversy, about someone that they’re going to make huge money out of it. But if that’s what the people want? I don’t think so. I think that people want to hear the truth…and more positive news. I mean, the majority of people don’t consider other posibilites. They just focus on the moment and don’t look beyond the obvious. They can’t think of other posibilities because they aren’t imaginative enough. This just shows you how the media is manipulating a lot of people out there.

The people who were whinning and complaining about this probably don’t realize that this has probably happened before, not just with Ina but with other stars too. They probably get hundreds of requests like this every month, and because of the amount of requests they get, along with their busy schedules, they can’t grant them all. I mean, she’s probably done this before, It just went unreported. At the same time, she’s probably granted wishes for other kids, which is something that the media doesn’t seem to care about. All they care is about stirring up controversy and degrading whomever falls victim to this kind of garbage, making them look like they’re the bad guy when they’re actually not.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not listening to this garbage. If the media thinks that they can manipulate me like this, they better think again. The stars have their own lives to worry about, so they should leave them alone more often. It seems like people have forgotten about that, or they just don’t realize it. It’s amazing to see how incompetent and ignorant a lot of people are. But at the same time, it’s amazing to see how the media is misinforming people.

Don’t worry Ina, I got your back. I always have and I always will, no matter what. I understand why you had to decline that kid’s wish and I know what you’re going through (unlike some people!). You’re still somebody I look up to.

Curse you media!