Quick Announcement: Personal Tumblr and YouTube Re-brand!

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to make a quick announcement. After much thinking, I recently decided to re-brand my personal Tumblr and personal YouTube channel. Doing this will help to compliment this blog, and will act as extensions of it. From now on, my personal Tumblr will be named “Elipalooza+” and my personal YouTube will be named “Elipalooza“.

While this blog will be centered more on stuff like op:eds, commentaries, reviews, critiques, self-reflection, and the like, Elipalooza+ will be more laid-back. It will sort-of serve as my ‘public’ personal Facebook, in that I’m going to post shorter, public personal updates, quick thoughts/opinion pieces, and just random, fun stuff that I find that I really like. I had to take a bit of a hiatus from Tumblr but I’m now active on it again, so feel free to follow me over there!

As for my personal YouTube channel, that will be more experimental and (just like Elipalooza+) more laid-back. I will be posting random stuff that I like, including more playlists of stuff on YouTube I like. It’ll be nothing dedicated…this is just going to be a fun little side-project that I’m going to do on my spare time, so updates will be infrequent. (If you want something more dedicated and ‘professional’, then head on over to the PROJEKT61 channel, which can now also be found on Vidme).

Overall, the premise of both Elipalooza+ and the Elipalooza YouTube channels are to serve as places where I’m free to express myself (sort of like this blog). Hope you all enjoy the new changes!

P.S. I recently created a blog where I will be documenting my music journey, as well as providing useful information and other stuff for music producers/artists. You can check it out here!

9/30/2015 Update

Hey everyone! I just wanted to give you all a little update on what’s been happening with me as of recently and the direction I’m going to be heading with this blog, my personal YouTube channel, and my career.

Monday was a pretty rough day for me. As some of you might know, I had a dispute with David Pakman on Twitter when I tried to tell him that his story about Lenovo spying on its customers was false and that he needed to backtrack it. I seemed to have failed at it and it really took a toll on me. I seem to be recovering from all that nicely, but I definitely felt very burned out earlier in the week. I just felt this sense of defeat and it was unbearable.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I came to the realization that maybe being a YouTube commentator full-time is not for me (at least right now). I made the decision to do this full time during the summer but things have changed now. My ordeal with Pakman made me realize this as well as a video that Mr. Repzion made earlier in the week callled “Time is Valuable“. I realized that there are simply too many stupid people on the internet these days (but particularly on YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook) for me and its difficult to educate them properly on stuff, debate them, ignore/dismiss them, etc. (something that Mr. Repzion mentioned in his video). Not only that but, it made me realize that music is where truly belong at (full time, of course). I see myself working in music for life (its always been that way), and I feel like I haven’t been paying enough attention to that lately (despite my new schedule). Plus, even though there are stupid people who comment on your music, its much easier to debate, ignore & dismiss them. Overall, the culture in music is more laid-back & more positive and I like that (especially when we’re talking about EDM).

My little ordeal is similar to the one that pro motocrosser Chad Reed went through recently: after realizing that he couldn’t handle being both a team owner full time and a rider full time, he made the hard decision to close down his team and is returning to being only a full time rider for another team (at this time, he is either still searching for a team, or he has found one but can’t reveal the details just yet). I, on the other hand, came to the realization that I couldn’t be a music producer/audio engineer/DJ/songwriter/recording artist full time and be a YouTube commentator full time. PROJEKT61 is still in its infancy, I have huge plans for it, and it needs all the attention it can get (especially since I’m either at a place or almost at a place where I can finally keep up with the heavyweights – something that I’ve been working on for 5 years). If I want to become a highly respected, highly sought-after artist, then I need to focus more on that as I still have a long way to go (just like Chad Reed wants to try to win another championship and therefore has to focus on that as much as possible).

I love commenting on stuff – I’m highly opinionated – but I just can’t do it as a full time job (at least not at this time) because I have other things to tend to. People seem to expect a channel to be focused on one type of thing – they don’t want it to be scattered. The expectations that come from being that type of YouTuber are just too much for me to handle (long time YouTubers like Mr. Repzion and Dave from Boyinaband.com seem to be feeling burnt out from that). Sorry to burst your bubble but that’s not my thing (and it doesn’t seem to be Mr. Repzion’s thing either). I originally created this channel to be experimental (just like this blog) and therefore its going to be scattered, and its going to stay that way (it is my personal channel, after all). If you want more focus and consistency, then go over to the PROJEKT61 channel since that’s only focused one thing and that is music. So if you love music, EDM, and bass music go over to that channel (I haven’t uploaded much over there but expect more from there soon).

So with that said, my personal YouTube channel will become my side-project again – it will become my hobby and part-time gig again, where I will post whenever I have time or whenever I feel like it – while the PROJEKT61 channel will become my main channel. I will be working on growing that channel more, and growing the brand as a whole (again, I have big plans for it). Obviously, I’m still a YouTuber, but with different priorities now. I’m still planing to go to VidCon but mostly for PROJEKT61 (I want to meet up with other musicians on YouTube & get some more networking and business tips). Overall, its full-steam ahead for PROJEKT61. I can change my plans/mind at anytime but that’s my plan for now. I need to do what feels right for me and I need to do what makes me really happy. In fact, ever since I made this decision, I’ve seen a big improvement in my happiness.

I’ve learned a lot from being a YouTube commentator (including learning more about myself) and I have really improved my skills in regards to commentating on stuff. Obviously, I’m still going to do commentaries on YouTube but its not going to be a full time thing. I know I haven’t been putting out a lot of fully written content on this blog and that’s because I felt quite a bit of writer’s block and I just didn’t know what was I going to do with this blog next (I have an easier time saying things as they come as opposed to just sitting down and writing them). But I think that making videos has helped me re-ignite that fire. I seem to feel motivated to write again. So with that said, expect me to publish more blogs in here again very soon! (Which is great because I have so much to say at time but don’t always have room around here to record.) Its obviously going to be a part-time/hobby sort of thing (like with my personal YT), which means that I’m only going to post when I have time and/or whenever I feel like it, but I’m going to do it. I might even be turning select posts in here into vlogs/podcasts so you can listen to them on-the-go, or while doing something else in general. They’re going to be sort of like audiobooks except that they’ll sound more ‘natural’.

I’ll catch you all tomorrow with a post about my Twitter scuffle with David Pakman, and ethics in journalism!

My First Vlog!

My first vlog ever is up on YouTube! In it, I talk a little about myself and my channel. If you want to see an intersex guy talk and ramble about stuff – as well as learn more about intersex every now and then – then go ahead and subscribe!

I will be uploading an unboxing video of the Lenovo Yoga Tablet 2 Pro I just got late last month very soon. I will also be making a video review of my new Yoga Tablet soon, plus I will have my 3 months on T update soon. I’m planning on making a vlog about it as opposed to a blog but I may end up making it in both versions, or just a blog (we’ll have to wait and see as I’m not too sure right now).

To Vlog Or Not To Vlog

This was originally posted on my personal Tumblr.

I started a YouTube channel about two years ago. It can be found here. The only problem is that I haven’t posted any videos yet. I’ve only made playlist.

The reason why I haven’t posted any videos yet are because: 1) I didn’t really have the proper equipment, 2) I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do, I just knew that I wanted to post videos plus I didn’t have a plan, 3) I didn’t really know how to go about it, and 4) I had certain inhibitions about this.

My inhibitions about this have largely to do with my how I sound, as well as the fact that I’ve never really recorded videos of me or been on a camera. Since I didn’t really have a puberty, my voice still sounds like that of either a prepubescent boy or a very early pubescent boy. I’m pretty self-conscious about it. The good thing is that I’m going to be starting Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) very soon, so my voice will finish developing soon. But still, its pretty embarrassing to be a 24 year old man but yet still sound like a 12-15 year old boy. The reason I’m so embarrassed is because it just doesn’t feel like me – I have a strong male gender identity and a strong masculine identity, and so this just doesn’t feel like me.

I grew up with Selective Mutism. Its when a person who is normally capable of speech does not speak in specific situations or to specific people. While I have come a very long way and have almost gotten over it (largely thanks to my transition, as well as finally meeting and being around like-minded people), I still feel like there’s more room for improvement (I guess you can say that I’m still feeling its aftermath – I also think my Low T is contributing to this as well). By posting video blogs, I would be increasing my social confidence.

I have been watching others vlogs for a long time now. I feel like I’ve learned all the necessary things I needed to learn. I feel like I’ve finally gotten a sense of direction on this, as well as structure – I’ve even made a plan. I plan on doing video production and making music videos, among other kinds of videos, a bit later on in the future. I can see how this will help me get started on that.

I can see all the benefits of doing vlogs. It will help me build my audience, which will translate over to the other things I’m either already doing or are planning to do. It will help increase my social confidence even more. I will get to meet new people and make new friends. It will help me get started on video production. I will help out other people, create more visibility for intersex and trans people, as well as be a source of inspiration for current SM sufferers as well as anyone else who is or has ever had social difficulties. There are obviously other reasons, but I’ll just stop here.

I’m thinking of starting somewhere this summer, if I decide to do this. I think that documenting my legal transition to male as well as my TRT treatments – as a way to compliment my written blogs – will be a great way to start. I think documenting them by video would be very beneficial to not just me but to others as well. The topics that would be discussed are going to range from my transition, intersex status, and TRT, to Lenovo, to my general wereabouts, my past, and really, anything else I’m interested in discussing. It would basically be a video blog version of my personal blog, Elipalooza.

I have quite a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of fears to overcome. All I know is that if I decide to do this, I’m going to feel very proud of myself for finally having the guts to do this.